Everything is torn apart. And That's the Hardest Part.

Michael and Sophie like each other. I'm sure of it, and it hurts me. Maybe I should be prettier like Sophie. I'm nowhere near someone as pretty as a girl from England, who plays Minecraft, and is pretty. I'm just an ordinary girl who sits on Blogspot and plays Legend Of Zelda all day. Is that anywhere near Sophie? When someone tells me I look pretty, I'm like.. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" That's how ugly I am.

Like, why would she ever steal Michael when she clearly knows that I like him and left a note in his desk saying that I like him? Which idiot would do that? Someone incredibly vain like her?
Let's face it. Even if I was spitting coins in the middle of the classroom and wearing neon green clothes while I was at it, he would still be chatting to Sophie. He's her Louis and She's his Harry. What can I do about it?

Sophie used to be really mean to me, and now she's all nicey nice cause' we talked once or twice. Geez, that kid REALLY needs to lay off on Michael.

And another thing that really irks me is the fact that Michael and Caroline are like... IDK. Together. I understand that they are student council but the thought of them being together for even a millisecond REALLY annoys me.

"MICHAEL! WE NEED TO GO TO FIVE PETRONE!"
"MICHAEL! WE NEED TO GO TO KINDERGARTEN!"
"OOOOOH! HEY! MICHAEL! HEY! WE HAVE STUDENT COUNCIL LUNCH"

The next thing might as well ne-
"MICHAEL AT THE NEXT STUDENT COUNCIL WE NEED TO MAKE BABIES!"

Friday I'll Be Over U.

Okay, I'm going crazed. Now I try to talk to Michael every second of the day. I'm taking advantage of this seating. But I think he likes this girl named Sophie, who's pretty nice most of the time. He was doing flashcards with Michael, and flirting with him when we were playing Bingo. I memorized his Jerseys. The color of his braces. His address. His mom's email. His dad's email. I bet that bitch, Sophie, doesn't know that much about him, huh?

I really need to find someone else. Like, honestly. These thoughts are strangling in my mind, therefore not letting me think properly, and I have about gajillion thoughts in my head, the stupidest ones, about Michael.

I realized every time I hang out with him more, I make myself look more stupid.. so why bother?

Maybe if I was like prettier like Sophie he would like me.

Wake Up In The Moring, Feeling like P Diddy.

Hell bored. Nope, I'm just saying that to hide my concern in the fact that Michael Christian's mom is the realtor of the house my parents really are thinking of buying. And what if we go to an open house? My biggest concerns are super stupid but (a) I think one day Michael might come with her, and watch as the day he comes is the day I go to that damn' open house. (b) Michael told his mom about the letter I wrote, and said it's from Ananya Rajagopal.

THEN WHAT?  I doubt it but it could happen. I'll keep you posted, guys. School time!

All I Want For Christmas, Is You.

Mhm. Yesterday, I was at the Christmas Tree Town Lighting and my friend told me that she saw Michael. I was like freaking out big time. I was acting like a drunk woman and I wore my angry birds hat, then put my friends' polar bear hat on it and I went around the town screaming-
"I'm a polar bird!" Everyone was like- WTF

After that my friend and I walked the streets of Ridgewood screaming- BANANNA POTATO BANANNA POTATO

YEAH WE SO CRAYYY

Without you, I didn't even have a pulse

So, my best friend, Piper, wasn't at school until Wednesday. And me being so sad, made something happen, because guess what? She was on the bus this morning and that adds to my good week. But, I did miss her the first three days and yeah it was pretty dull without her. Okay, not pretty dull. Super dull. I missed her and I like to be with her every second of the day. But sadly.. that unfortunate little sickness spread from her to her father.

But there's always just that one little thing that keeps you from having the most perfect little ending. Her aunt, doesn't want me bringing her to my house. I don't know why and I really want to talk to her aunt, because her aunt's son is my best friend and I hang out with him. But apparently, it's something to do with Piper's mom and my other best friend's mom.

This world is quite complicated, and I know it won't always be twinkly lights...

Freak The Freak Out.

Title says it all. Today I had a great day because it consisted of me missing P.E. and doing cello and set design for the holiday show. And in science, Michael sat next to me and was talking to me majority of the time. Like, I'm freaking out. Since when did Michael Christian give a flying shit about me and why does he, all of a sudden? I'm trying not to get my hopes high, and think that he likes me. But It's sorta impossible to, when he talkes to me like, 24/7. Sometimes I freak out for no reason, it's quite weird.

Yesterday, my dad like, blew up when I said I was listening to music and doing homework. He grabbed the computer and slammed the screen down and when I closed the door, he fucking like thrust it open so hard that I swear, that room could have broke down for all it was.. I was like- Jeez dude, you got severe anger issues.

Anyway, I told him to stop checking on me every five minutes like a nazi and he blew up with anger. I was like- Man, you gotta calm down. But I said all of that except for the nazi thing in my head.

Talk about people being on short fuses. Other than that, my week has been pretty perfect. Only if every day I sat with Michael. I memorized his Jerseys. Today he was wearing a long one, that said-
7, Brees, Eagles.

Oh god, I am in mad love with this imbecile.

This Has Gotta Be The Good Life

I'm screaming my fucking head off. My teacher seated me next to my major crush, Michael Fucking Christian. I so can't believed this. I'm sitting next to the basketball superstar, super hot, popular guy. It's all for a reason. We picked the same math sheet for a reason. Our pictures in our classroom pictue, are together.We got seats next to each oter for a reason.

Have you ever just liked that one person so much you live and breathe for them? I know how it feels. Totes. I nearly had a heart attack in the morning and I was like prep talking myself. I was fanning my cheeks and trying not to die. I'm so excited. This is gonna be the best few month(s).


I also made this super nice friend named Elizabeth Mattes. She's really sweet and nice. I might be going over to her house on Saturday from one to three. YAY. This is so great. Can this week get any better? No, No it cannot. I'm so happy that I forgot that I'm grounded from my Ipod and computer for three weeks.

But Lexi and I are wrapping things up now that I hang out with Elizabeth and Anya more than her. She has like, seventy thousand friends, why would she need me? I don't know why but I had this crippling fear that she was using me. What do you think? Cause' we're math partners at school and she barely talks to me other than math, when she grabs my notebook and copies my answers which I find SUPER annoying. I didn't officially fight with Lexi, but I bet that she's thinking the same so it's a mutual friendship ending.